Treadmills to be installed at Highsec mining outpost food court counters

HALAIMA: In a bid to combat the growing obesity crisis across Highsec, a new initiative will soon see exercise machines installed across the region’s numerous food courts and fast food outlets.
Unveiled in Halaima this morning, the ‘Run Fast For Fast Food’ programme will differ from previous weight-loss and fitness schemes in that it will make using treadmills mandatory for all miners and diners. By placing the machines in front of each of the food counters, customers will be forced to use them while placing an order.

“Beyond clamping down on dishes high in sodium, sugar and saturated fats, we really can’t stop the miners and crews eating unhealthy fast food all day long,” said Rita Camelkepper, the programme’s founder. “But what we can do is make it that much harder for them to get to the most fattening foods, and perhaps help them burn some calories on the way!”

Where the Run Fast For Fast Food programme really comes into its own is with an innovative tiered approach, with the different treadmill’s difficulty levels set in accordance to the calorie-count of the food being ordered.

“For example, were someone to go to a counter to order a supersized Big Mack meal with extra iced fries, the treadmill would be running at around three times the speed and with a far greater incline than for someone ordering, say, a chicken retriever sandwich with slimline dressing,” said Camelkepper, adding that the length of time spent exercising would hopefully deter those placing sizeable orders.

“Our trial runs found that having spent 30 seconds sweating on a gruelling uphill setting, those who normally might request six family mega ore buckets, 24 pieces of synthetic chicken, nine Dickstar Tower burgers, six tubs of coleslaw, 14 large fries and four litres of Quafe were significantly scaling back their orders,” she said.

“Some of our more generously proportioned testers simply weren’t physically capable of choosing anything but healthy options and some were left standing motionless in the queue as they failed to grasp the task ahead of them.”Image

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