Landlord Awards showcase the very best in Goonswarm rent increases

VALE OF THE SILENT: There were tears and cheers last night as the Landlord of the Year Awards made an emotional return to Goonswarm Federation. The glittering event, last held in YC 108, welcomed over 500 of the region’s most notorious moon owners, system bosses and constellation executives,  many of whom expressed delight that their industry had finally emerged from the difficulties of the moongoo financial crisis.

“It just makes me shudder remembering what it was like back then. With rent prices plummeting along with opportunities to completely bleed our tenants dry, they were dark times indeed,” said Leroy Shipstealer, who owns 24 moons across Goonswarm space.

“But I can proudly say that the tide has now turned and we’re well and truly back to our absolute best. One annual cheque is the norm once more and yearly rates are going up faster than we can evict people and draw up new contracts. I’m super pleased that these wonderful awards have now returned too.”

Among those present was renowned proprietor Lord Thunderflap, four times winner of the prestigious Most Ludicrous Rent Hike Award. Speaking before the ceremony, he expressed his confidence in making it five. “My rents are now more than twice what they were in YC 109, I’m sure to win,” he said.

However, Thunderflap lost out to rival Mr Omniblivion, who has managed to hike his rents by almost 300 per cent since Goonswarm won the Expo5000 bid in November. “Just you wait and see how much I’m charging when the Expo actually comes to town,” he beamed tearfully.

The coveted Utter Bastard Of The Year gong went to Massive Swinging Dong, who successfully brought to trial 43 tenants for non-payment of rent for constellations that have never existed.

However, the night’s biggest cheer was saved for the closing celebration, the Lifetime Achievement Award, which went to one of the industry’s most respected names, mynnna. The Caldari businesswoman – largely credited as the first landlady to require 12 months payment upfront, plus 10 per cent administrative charges – this year made history when she successfully demanded three years rent in advance for a POS setup and studio apartment in the Vale  of the Silent region.

“You’re an inspiration to us all,” said the show’s host Dom Moonspear on presenting mynnna with her award.


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