Man lost in Jita Mall for 13 months describes ordeal

JITA: A mysterious castaway who claims to have been “shopwrecked” inside the Jita IV-4 Mall for 13 months is now safely outside the shopping centre, according to reports.

The man, who calls himself LoneFinger Corvax and says he is a tourist from the Placid region, turned up at a remote customer service desk two days ago in a disheveled state and in a heavily damaged shopping trolley, claiming that he had been living off fast food he had bought from the numerous food courts as he searched for an exit.

Corvax, who claims to be 29, is now in a local medical facility recovering from his ordeal, said the Brave Newbies Inc. ambassador to Jita, Yoo Wish.

“He’s in a much better shape than one would expect after such a horrifying experience,” Wish told reporters.

Corvax is believed to have entered Jita for what was to be a one-day expedition with a fellow Placid tourist last January, but was blown off course by crowds shopping for a PvP festival and eventually became waylaid by a visit to the Caldari Navy Aquarium.

According to Corvax, he lost his partner three months into their drift because she refused to eat any more Synthetic Cheeseburgers.

“For days, I felt like dying. I couldn’t take it anymore. Another pop-up PLEX stand very nearly finished me off,” he is quoted as saying in an interview with the Jita Mall’s in-house magazine.

But authorities are now trying to determine the legitimacy of Corvax’s story, with several experts claiming that it would not have been possible for someone to have survived for so long inside the space station.

“Even when going for the salad options or leaving the sliced gherkin in the burger, we’ve never known anyone to have lasted longer than seven months eating purely Jita fast food,” said Darrius Omega of the Jita Health Bureau. “Either this man’s cholesterol levels are through the roof or we have a real life miracle on our hands.”

But Corvax, who is due to be reunited with his family, still managed to show a trace of humour despite his nightmare.

“Who knows, perhaps I’ll come back again,” he joked from his hospital bed. “I hear the next shopping festival will be the best one yet and I’m also running low on tech one drones.”


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