Goonswarm set to win back intergalactic support thanks to charming Christmas ad

DEKLEIN: It might only be two weeks into December, but many are already saying that the hunt for the best Christmas neocom-TV commercial is already over. Unveiled last night, the big-budget ad from the Goon State has won over both critics and casual observers for its cheeky charm and seasonal warmth.

Rumoured to have cost upwards of Z120 billion to produce, the advert features Goon leader The Mittani giving a fiery sermon in a frosty ice belt setting to a group of CGI-animated Mackinaws and Stabbers while cheerily coloured high-sec elves jump around merrily. Midway through a passage in which he urges the crowd to “erupt the volcanoes of high-sec jihad”, the terror frontman is interrupted when a dancing troupe of balaclava-wearing New Order soldiers burst out from behind a Christmas tree singing The Mittani is Coming to Town. Eventually, The Mittani puts on a Father Christmas hat and joins in.

The multi-billion ISK campaign launches on the intergalactic stage this week, with many saying it could help reverse the mostly negative perceptions of the Goonswarm Federation in high-security space.

“If you’ve been making headlines for all the wrong reasons like Goonswarm, a well-targeted festive marketing campaign with a splash of humour is the perfect tool to win back hearts and minds,” said marketing expert A Black Guy. “I wouldn’t be surprised if this generates a whole new fanbase for the caliphate.”

The ad world is now awaiting a possible response from Test Alliance Please Ignore, who were last year criticized as having a “lack of imagination” for a 24-second commercial simply featuring an alliance member reading aloud a passage from A Christmas Carol while wearing a dinosaur-shaped party hat. Major intergalactic agency Eve News 24 are now believed to be working with the faltering terror giants.

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