Tag Archives: javix

Self-Proclaimed Intergalactic Man of Year Rixx Javix Unhappy With Titan Parked In Backyard

Ishomilken: According to sources, Javix was extremely unhappy that a Titan* was blocking the view from his luxury penthouse suite in Ishomilken, in The Citadel region, this last Saturday night the 3rd January yc117.

Further, in a broadcast made to his loyal followers via Caldari State Televison Channel 643 – The Pirate Channel, Javix went on to slam the nature of the event and events in general.

“Look, I love events more than some. Good events. But I am also a hunter. Most of the fun of PvP for me is hunting, the tactics, the patience, the surprise, the timing, not opening the front door and pointing in the yard, ‘Hey Lookie there! Grab mah gun Ethel**!!’ Not to mention knowing exactly what this event was going to do to my entire Saturday. 2,000 people, massive TiDi (10% for most of four hours!) is not exactly my idea of fun.”

He continued …

“And still I tried.”

Javix was briefly seen to be sobbing as the camera awkwardly panned to a boy with the name tag Jiffy, sat in the corner dressed in Stay Frosty garb playing with his Tristan toys.

Minutes later and in what many are calling a ‘quite remarkable statement’, Javix went on to claim that the entire event was centered around him and his cult of personality anyway.

“I love events. But I really can’t participate. I should stop trying to do so. I am just a freaking magnet and I get camera drones in my face and then I’m called out on Comms, primaried, and otherwise exploded. Let’s not kid ourselves here, I was the name at the top of the list when the headliners were announced. It is just the nature of the beast.”

* The Titan pilot was unavailable for comment.

** Ethel Javix was unavailable for comment.